Happy New Years Eve

I know, I know that it's really not New Years Eve. It has been a rough start to 2011 for me so I decided that since the number 1 on New Years Day represents a fresh start, I am going to take advantage of all the ones in tomorrows date to have another chance at a fresh start. 1-11-11 at 11:11 am will be my new year this year.

Rough start may not be the best way to describe what is happening right now. Total grief and exhaustion and being entirely drained may be a better, more accurate description.  On the real New Years Eve, my grandmother, who has been bravely battling cancer (more on that in a future post) for months, said she not longer wanted to wake up, she asked for a priest and wanted the pain to end. We thought that would be it, that she would leave us that night. Her color changed, she was breathing differently, she was ready to go. However, around the time that the east coast was counting down to the new year, she perked up, she wanted to eat and I held her hand as we rang in the new year in two time zones just to the east. For the next couple of days, she had moments of rest where she wanted no one to be with her and had moments of visiting, YATZEE, and what we had been considering normal for the past several weeks. On Monday evening, she decided to remove her oxygen.  We thought at the time because of how weak she was that it would only be a matter of hours before she took her last breath and had her last moment of pain.  We gathered all of the family together and each of us in our own way told her that we loved her and that we would be OK and that it was time for her to move on.  The family (which consists of about 20+) spent the entire night sitting by her side holding her hand, singing, praying and remembering stories of our amazing G-ma. Throughout the next 45 hours we held a vigil by her side and in the house, many of us not sleeping more than a couple of hours during that whole time. She finally peacefully drew her last breath with no more pain around 4pm on Wednesday afternoon.  Of course we are all saddened by the loss of Gma, but we know that she is no longer in pain and that she prepared us well to carry on in her honor.

During the time that we were together it was amazing to see that her grandchildren and great grandchildren were the ones that were driving the vigil.  We held her hand, stayed with her, sang to her, talked to her and told her that we would carry on all the things that we had learned.  We laughed and cried and remembered and I know that she would have wanted it that way. She would have wanted us all together, not fighting, not carrying on with our own lives and not thinking much about the others which is what tends to happen in big families. She would have wanted cousins that normally wouldn't necessarily say they love each other, not because we don't, but because it may not be the coolest thing to say, to say it out loud, embrace and hold hands through this difficult time.  She would have wanted us to spend the time that we needed but then when the time came realize that she wouldn't want any one of us to see her take her last breath and leave her to be with the hospice nurse to be at peace. She would have wanted us to take care of each other and carry on with a sense of humor, be as brave as she was and honor our blended family.  My grandmother was an amazingly loving and welcoming woman.  Of the people holding vigil for her were step grandchildren, in laws, friends, the mother of her great granddaughter and family alike.  She loved us all, welcomed us all and taught us all that there are no labels when you call someone family. I hope to carry on this unconditional love in my life and teach my children to do the same.

I will end for now saying that our family will dearly miss my grandmother Betty, who we liked to call Gma. She is joining my grandfather (Walter aka Skip), who we lost about 6 years ago.  We have been discussing the sentiment to put on their shared headstone and my vote still goes to...

"Betty got her Skip back"
 If anyone out there has influence on the voting system of the Buck family, make this happen.  I know that our creative, somewhat humorous tribute to them both will be the talk of Ft. Logan cemetery, maybe even win an award, if one such award category exists.

As I look to the new New Years Day, at least for this girl and this year, I have chosen a word as others around blog nation do each New Year. This year my word is

LIVE.

This year I will...
Live with Intention
Live Each Moment
Live healthfully
Live Creatively
Live with Focus
Live Bravely
Live the Journey
Live Joyfully
Live Lovingly
Live Happily
Live Peacefully
Live Out Loud
Live to Learn
Live to Explore
Live Simply
Live for family

Today I finally took down my Christmas decorations, appropriate because I usually do that on around New Years. I took some pictures before it all came down.  I'll share my favorite.

And that's all for now, HAPPY NEW YEAR, 1-11-11!!

Happy Birthday, Daddy

Yesterday was my Daddy's Birthday.  I wasn't expecting to see him but got a call that there was a ticket to join him at one of his favorite places on earth-Home of the Colorado Rockies, Coors Field in beautiful downtown Denver.

Trevor and I joined him (he had to pick us up because I am currently sharing a car with my sixteen year old son and needless to say, I loose the coin toss most times when it comes to who gets the car, but that's a whole other blog post.) Also joining us were my aunt Julie, cousin Rebekah, Uncle Alan (AKA Al the kiddies pal) who is currently living in the DC area and works at the Pentagon

The afternoon was chilly but beautiful.  During the tour we got to see the upper level,which I have seen no less than a hundred times because those are the least expensive, yet just as awesome seats. We got to take shots of the field from above but it was cool to be the only people in the whole stadium.

We also got to go to the suite level, club level, the "lower press box" which is where all the writers from various magazines, newspapers and other publications get to watch the game.  "Lower" refers to the location in the stadium, not having anything to do with their position in the press rankings.  We also found out that Mikey Mouse is a huge Rockies fan too.

Then we got to go down into the clubhouse. We were only allowed to enter the visitors clubhouse as the Rockies train year round in their ginormous 15,000 square foot clubhouse and I am sure ladies like myself that would do just about anything to see a MLB player's cute behind up close are not welcomed at any time anywhere near their locker room or gym. The visiting team has a mere 7,000 square foot clubhouse that isn't too shabby.

Next on the tour was my favorite part-going out onto the field. We were warned ahead of time that we were NOT allowed to walk on the grass. Throughout the tour we were informed of the way that the grass is kept so green even at times of the year when every other blade of grass in Colorado is the   blah-est color brown you have ever seen and how they mow it not once but twice before every game. Whoa, bet that guy never thought that would be his job during the summer when he was 14, mowing his neighbors lawns just for a little spending money. We did as we were told and only touched the grass with our hands. We also got to call the bull pen, and without all the 50,000 or so screaming fans you can actually hear the phone ring across the field. We go to sit on the benches where those cute little behinds have spent many a summer afternoon.

It was a fun way to spend time with my dad on his birthday! Loved it and can't wait until spring training and the boys of summer to pull on their tight white pinstriped pants and PLAY BALL!

Just Because

Since it's my birthday, I decided that I would blog today just because...

My son just got his licence today. Just because he is licenced to drive doesn't mean that I will not be having anxiety, fear and be holding my breath the entire time that he is gone.

I just got my nose pierced  a few days ago and it is truly driving my boys nuts that I am cooler than they are.

Just last year on this very day, we had a huge blizzard in Colorado and today it is about 80 degrees and JUST beautiful!

I am telling myself on this my 34th birthday that I just need to get off my ass and get in shape.  I am starting Couch to 5K and this time I am going to stick with it.  I have my running shoes, a partner and a whole lotta motivation! I am not waiting until new years to get on with it.  I am committing to this running plan and eating better.

I think I have a cold, UUGH, just in time to go back to work on Monday!

Just have a few moments to myself so I think I will continue my reorganization of my craft room!

Starting Over

I am hoping that third times a charm will apply to my third attempt at keeping up on this blog. As I am approaching a birthday very soon, I have decided to refocus on some of the thing s that I want to do with my life and how I want to spend my time.  Blogging and sharing some of my thoughts craftiness and photos is a part of this refocus.  

The first thing that I want to share is a project designed to Jump start my creativity. I completed it as a part of an online workshop given by Amy Tan. I wasn't sure how I was going to approach the project at first but now that it is done, I am so happy with the result. Once I get over my completely paralyzing fear of my sewing machine, I may try to make one of these cute little books myself.  Thankfully, Amy stitched the first one together for me so I was able to move on from step one.  When putting the book together, I decided to use all of the things that have been piling up in my scraproom that I loved but was never sure what to use them for. 

 I am loving how it turned out imperfect, eclectic and features some of my favorite things. 

Here's to jumping into more creativity and blogging about it along the way.

P.S. Thanks Amy for the inspiration and the fun workshop!

Admit it!

Okay so I truly am a nerd! As if loving scrapbooking with a passion wasn't nerdy enough, now I can't get enough of knitting! I love all the luscious colors of the yarn. I love all the possibilities that come with a brand new skein-OMG I even know the lingo. I hope my friends that are knitters don't mind it when I refer to us as the "Nerdy Needle Club." I now stand a proud member of the club and now if I could just figure out a way to balance the nerdy things that I keep getting myself into.

Pop of color

With a fresh clean start to the new year I have decided to add some vibrant color to my office/scrapspace. I have recently added this bright red chair to the room. I love it! I really want to get a funk cool pillow to add to the vibrant colors but fo now it is great like it is. I intended to sit and read or knit in the chair and I really have yet to use it but it has become a place that the boys will sit and chaat with me while I am in here. I love that they feel comfortable in here and that it makes them open up and talk to me.

Meet Frankie

Today we had breakfast at a local Einsteins. As we ate and chatted a curious squirrel came to the door. I thought it was odd that a squirrel was so bold and curious with so many people around. He literally peered into the door as if he knew what was inside and he wanted some...Bad! He kept looking and looking to get someones attention to let him in. A few times he nearly darted into the store as people came and went. Pretty soon someone commented about it to the staff and the said "oh you mean Frankie." So it became apparent that this was not the first time this little guy has visited. One of the staff members did indeed go outside with something for him to munch on. And so he did...munch...and munch...and munch some more for a long, long time.